Two items for your reading pleasure

Currently in bloom.

Bats escape the heat of the tin roof. Notice the one with vampire fangs.

But first, a weather update: November is the height of hot season in Salima. It is like living in a dog’s mouth.

My water consumption has quadrupled and still I barely ever have to pee. Every inch of my body is constantly slimy. Mangoes are in season, and I am up to six a day. I have taken up weekend residence at the lake with Sally. It is HOT.

***

Once again, I am typing exams for the end of term. Last week, one of the teachers submitted the following story as a Reading Comprehension passage:

Once upon a time there lived a woman named Mbereka-Miti (“mother of heads”), who was married to a man called Tate-Miti (“father of heads”). When Mbereka-Miti became pregnant for the first time she gave birth to a living head. Annoyed at this, she killed it and threw it into the bush. But the same thing happened over and over again, six times in all. On the seventh occasion she decided not to kill the head but to keep it, as she would probably never have a normal child.

Now the head possessed all the normal faculties: two eyes, two ears, a nose, and a mouth. It could see, hear, smell, eat and talk. The one thing it could not do, however, was walk, for it had no legs. When it came of age, Mbereka-Miti put it in a basket and, together, with her husband, set out on a journey to look for a girl who would be willing to become a wife.

They went from village to village and saw lots of girls, but no one of them wanted to marry the head. Here they were received with insults, there people chased them away or cruelly beat them. But they doggedly went on and in the end found a girl who said she would marry the head. Her name was Matola-tola, that is “she who picks up anything.”

The girl went along with them, together with her younger brother, and they and the head were given a house of their own. The boy and the head shared a room while the girl had one to herself.

It sounds incredible, but during the night the head would change into a European, who moved through the house suddenly ablaze with electric lights and furnished in the most lavish manner, the way Europeans like it. Now the little boy, waking up one night, happened to see this, and the next morning secretly told his sister. She would not believe him and told him he had been dreaming. But the boy said he would tie a string to his ear so that when it happened again he could wake her up by pulling it.

Night came and when the events repeated themselves the boy managed to wake up his sister, who was able to see everything for herself. The head was still in its basket, but as long as the European moved about, it looked lifeless like a wooden mask.

The girl and her brother now made a plan. They decided that, on the next occasion, the boy would get hold of the white man while the girl smashed the head to pieces. Night came and everything went according to plan. The white man could no longer change back into a head and everything in the house stayed as it had been during the night. There were lovely chairs and tables, a couch, a refrigerator, a TV set. The girl changed into a white woman, her brother into a white boy, and even Mbereka-Miti and her husband became white people.

At day break, the whole village flocked to the house, everybody exclaiming in surprise. The girls who had refused to marry the head and who had even mocked it were now green with envy. Some tried to undo their mistake by using witchcraft against the family, but failed, as whites cannot be bewitched.

(Adapted from: “An Anthology of Malawian Literature for Junior Secondary.”)

***

Lastly, a gem from a Peace Corps magazine’s “Achievements of Our Community” section a few months ago.

For the past nine years *** S*** has intentionally lived his life without using money. He has spiritual reasons for avoiding any form of currency, but he also does it as a statement against a system he believes is corrupt. S*** lives in a cave, which holds the few things he owns. He finds everything else he needs, including food and clothing, in trash receptacles in Moab, Utah.